Nirvana Balance

A quick Google search will let you know very quickly that there is no shortage of information, opinions, or data related to finding the elusive happy place of, "Work-Life Balance." Articles and YouTube videos promise that they can teach you how to "Find Balance in 10 Minutes or Less" or tout "3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance." Honestly, all of this seems exhausting.

If you were expecting the magic formula to achieve nirvana-state-work-life-balance-™… well, this is the wrong article for you, because I'm not going to do that.

What I will do today is share a few practical, applicable, actionable tips to establish healthy routines and boundaries.

"Isn't that the same thing?" 

No, and here's why.

I don't believe in Work-Life Balance.

*Record Scratch*

I know what you may be thinking, but hear me out. We are whole people. I am not "Work Marie" and "Life Marie." You are not "Work-You" and "Life-You." You are a whole person regardless of whether you are showing up in your personal life or in a professional setting. While we may choose to share different parts of ourselves and our lives in various settings, that does not discount the fact that you are 100% you, always. In personal relationships and in professional settings, it is essential to understand and implement healthy boundaries and practices that help us meet our needs and find fulfillment and peace. Let's talk about three specific practices and boundaries.

1. Find Your Line

Finding your line is a way of honoring yourself.

Do you wake up in the morning and check your work email on your phone immediately?
Do you check IMs and texts from work at all hours of the day?
Do you spend all weekend stressing about the email from your boss that arrived in your inbox at 4:58 on a Friday afternoon?

If any of those ring a bell, it is time to pump the breaks. It is time to establish boundaries for yourself. Turn off work application notifications on your mobile device after 5:00 pm on Friday. Power down your work computer at the end of the day. Put your post-it notes and to-do lists in a folder and tuck them away until Monday morning.

Do you want to know a secret? All of those things will make you a better employee. When you create boundaries, you allow your mind to rest and create space to unwind. Stepping away will enable us to come back to our tasks with clear eyes and increased focus. If we never power down, we spend all our time trying to find the forest through the trees. Instead, step back and appreciate the treeline from the clearing.

2. Show Up Authentically

"She is doing too much." 

Have you ever heard this about yourself? Have you heard other people say this about colleagues or neighbors, causing you to worry that you are too much? I'm here to tell you that you are not too much. People around you may want to put you into a box that makes them feel comfortable. This is not the same as being "too much."

Have you ever had an item shipped from an online retailer that showed up in a box that didn't fit? You may have raised your eyebrows thinking, "why did they use this box for that item? That doesn't make sense." People are the same way. It does not make sense for you to be put into a box that doesn't fit you, regardless of who is telling you that "you belong" in that box. 

You are not too much. You will always be "too much" of the right thing for the wrong people.

If you have a unique sense of style, own it! If you enjoy a particular type of music, own it. If you enjoy a specific hobby, embrace it. Do not put a mask on who you are because of how other people may respond. Celebrate yourself! Celebrate your heritage, culture, style, and personality. You are not "too much." You are just right.

3. Maintain Space For You

In your personal life, as well as at work, it is critical to make space for yourself. We all need time to rest and recharge. We understand that our phone batteries get low, and our devices need to get plugged in, but sometimes we have a hard time recognizing our own "Low Battery" notifications popping up. Irritability, fatigue, lethargy, hunger (or lack of appetite), can all be signs that we need to make some space for ourselves.

Everyone's "space" or self-care will look different. We all have different needs and feel recharged by different things. If you don't know what makes you feel renewed, take a few minutes each day for one week and write down all of the things that energized you throughout the day. At the end of the week, you may see the beginning of a list of activities that bring you joy and recharge your batteries.

If you are familiar with what it looks like to take time for yourself, you're ahead of the game. However, just because we know what works for us doesn't always mean that we put those things into practice. Look at your calendar for the next week. Find (or make) a slice of time, ideally a couple of times during the week, and schedule that time for yourself. I'm not talking about making that time blank on your calendar. I mean, actually put it on your calendar application or in your planner so that it can not get scheduled over by something else. Take that time and invest in y-o-u. 

Truth be told, if we want to capture "Work-Life" balance, we need to achieve balance as whole people. There isn't an article (including this one) or YouTube video that can magically give us balance. Balance comes from establishing and maintaining boundaries as well as setting and following through on expectations. From my keyboard to your screen, it is my hope that the practices we've discussed today will help you begin or return to your journey of balance.